


Winter Confessions

by athenasmile



Category: TWICE (Band)
Genre: F/F, Idk how to tag help!, sort of angst, sort of canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-10
Updated: 2020-04-10
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:47:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,940
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23575648
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/athenasmile/pseuds/athenasmile
Summary: She remembered when Sana had treated her like she was the most important person to her — and back then she knew that she was — and she only dismissed her, convinced that there would always be a next year, that she would always be hers.ORThe SaTzu angst that everybody sees on YT, but not in written form!
Relationships: Chou Tzuyu/Minatozaki Sana
Kudos: 41





	Winter Confessions

**Author's Note:**

> I am relatively new to the ship (1 week and counting), and I wanted to add up to the small amount of fics written for them, so here I am! Enjoy?

_12.25_

In a dimly lit room, sat a girl in front of a desk strewn with letters of different color, size, and design. One letter in particular had her attention, and had been staring at it for the past 10 minutes or so. It was heart-shaped, and seemed as if two pieces were glued together — one being smaller than the other — one piece colored indigo, and the other purple. And despite it only having the word “still” in the middle, the girl knew who it was from, and what it meant.

She hadn’t expected it — her receiving an actual _love letter_ from her, despite how she tried to convince herself that it wasn’t. It always happened every year, on the same day. She would let her know of her feelings for her, but she didn’t expect her to _physically_ act on it. Plus, they weren't really that close – they had only become real friends this year.

* * *

They had first _met_ as fellow trainees during a reality show called “Sixteen” — sure, they saw each other prior to that, but they only really got to know each other after being chosen to be challenged for debut. It was a day to practice their group’s performance for the week, and half of them didn’t show up. This led to a frustrated Japanese girl, being comforted by the younger Taiwanese girl.

Tzuyu tried to steer Sana’s mind away from their botched practice — bringing up various topics when the older girl’s rantings had become too emotional. She liked to think that she had been successful in that regard, seeing the older girl’s disappointed expression from before and during their practice, turn into a calmer one — having some rare smiles in between.

One topic had her flustered, and it was the start of _everything_. While resting in the middle of their already flopped practice session, Sana had quietly asked the younger girl if she was already _taken_ — was interested or seeing someone — and she had denied both, with the following statement making her blank out for a few seconds.

_“Oh good, I can still win your heart.”_

In trying to diffuse the awkwardness Tzuyu was sure was going to happen, she had commented on them at least being friends first. And Sana did. But it wasn’t only towards her. After they had debuted, Sana _befriended_ everyone in the group, and they naturally all became like family.

* * *

The members of TWICE had been shooting their scenes in the music video of their song “What is Love?”. They were to portray characters from various films, and most were paired, following the theme of the song. The week had gone by shooting their scenes for the chosen films, and everyone had done their best for each of their parts, but something had bemused Tzuyu.

On the shoot for _Pulp Fiction_ ’s part, their scene consisted of both of them dancing face to face to each other. It should’ve been an easy scene, with it being simple, and didn’t involve any actual _romantic_ parts, but they had to retake a few times because _Sana_ , of all people, kept on averting her eyes away from Tzuyu’s. And it didn’t seem to be due to lack of concentration on her part, the older girl seemed to do just fine when they had to take close-up shots, and she had to stare at the camera.

In comparison, Sana had to hug (and try to kiss) Jeongyeon for their scene — the most romantic out of all the scenes in the entire music video. Not only did she have an easier time doing so, she also seemed to have fun with it. And during their interview for the TWICE TV episode, Sana kept on talking about their shoots on the previous days — Tzuyu’s with Momo, and Sana’s with Jeongyeon.

She was supposedly in love with her — she had texted her so just last month! — so why didn’t it seem like it? Surely, her feelings for her didn’t disappear completely that fast, right?

* * *

Still sitting with the letter at hand, Tzuyu thought about her feelings for Sana. Truth be told, she had also liked her — not the like she had asked her of, but like nonetheless.

The first impression she had of the Japanese trainee was someone difficult to deal with. During their time in _Sixteen_ though, she had been proven wrong — she always had this reassuring and supportive presence. So, wanting to know more about her, she had one day, after practice, gone to look for her to talk to her more. She was both surprised and a bit saddened to see her being so affectionate with another trainee — Momo, she thought her name was. She unconsciously started distancing herself from her afterwards, to prevent her from getting too involved with her.

She dropped the letter into the pile on her desk, and heaved a sigh before moving to her bed for sleep. She would not answer her confession this time. They had only become really close the past few months, and they were definitely still going to see each other — being in the same group and all. She still had time. Besides, she’d confess to her next year like she did for the past two, right?

* * *

“We’ll be making a Dance Practice video of 'What is Love?', but this one is for the Onces.” Jihyo announced to the rest of the members, who were now resting after their first run.

“When it’s your part, just go near the camera and do whatever. It’s for the Onces, so it’s to show your appreciation? I’m not telling you guys to act like Sana-”

“Hey!”

“But yeah, just do what you like. We’ll shoot it once and that’s it, so it feels more natural.”

TWICE had just shot the dance practice video for their song when they were asked to make a “For Once” version. It was meant to follow the theme of the song, this time of their love for their fans, the Onces, and the members had wholeheartedly agreed to do it. They were left with the decision on what to do for their parts, and Jihyo had instructed them just that.

The routine went off as expected, despite the few hiccups, as the members sometimes forget to do something different — to go in front on close-up, at least. Some members chose to just dance the routine, some danced to some other steps — either just random steps, or the moves used in the music video, while others acted cutely.

Following the lead of Dahyun, when she followed up with Mina on her part for the music video, Tzuyu wanted to do the same. Supposedly, it was Sana’s turn again in front of the camera, so she thought that they could do their part as well. What she didn’t expect from happening was Sana dragging Jeongyeon to do _their_ part instead.

It was shocking to see Sana dragging Jeongyeon in front of her, when she was already dancing their steps from _Pulp Fiction_. It also hurt, but they were dancing in front of the camera, so she had to force a smile. She hoped that she had hidden her expression well, but it seemed that she hadn’t.

“Tzuyu was really hurt with what you did, you know.” Tzuyu overheard Momo saying.

Tzuyu wanted to shower after their dance practice, but it seemed that someone else had the same idea as her. Why they weren’t speaking in Japanese like they usually do when they’re alone together was beyond her, but she wasn’t complaining. Rather, she’s eavesdropping on them so, really, they should be the ones doing so, but they _were_ talking about her — she supposed they were even.

“What did I do?” Sana asked, confused.

“When you dragged Jeongyeon to do your parts for _Ghost_ , and Tzuyu was already dancing to _Pulp Fiction_ in front.” Momo continued to explain. “She may have hidden it well then, but the entire dance after, her smile just disappeared. She was really bothered by it.”

“Really?! I didn’t mean to, you know? Tzuyu doesn’t like it when people get overly affectionate with her, I heard her talking about it with Dahyun and Chaeyoung.” Sana confessed. And before Momo could reprimand her about that, she also defended that she didn’t mean to eavesdrop on them — she was really just passing by when they were talking.

“But that’s in private. When we’re in front of the cameras, she lets us do it — it’s part of the fan service. You should know this better than anyone.”

“I guess I just forgot?” Sana reasoned out weakly, a barely heard laugh added in the end.

“You should go and apologize to her after, okay?” Momo asked, moving outside of the bathroom after seeing Sana nod in response. And Momo would’ve seen Tzuyu had the younger girl stayed for a second longer.

* * *

Tzuyu had been bothered that Momo noticed that _she_ was bothered by Sana’s action. It had her reflecting her feelings for the Japanese girl. Why was she bothered that someone noticed? Why did it hurt seeing Sana _choose_ Jeongyeon over her? Why did Sana have to consider her feelings about being affectionate with her? Sana never used to do that — she would just get in your space, and shower you with her love. What made her change?

So deep in thought was Tzuyu that she didn’t notice Sana calling her, until she had been tapping her on her shoulders.

“Yes?!” Tzuyu answered with a jolt.

“What were you thinking about? I was calling you for quite a while already.” Sana teased, trying to ease the tension.

“I-it was nothing. Just missing home.” Tzuyu lied, not wanting to tell the girl she had been thinking about the reason _why_ she was thinking of her. “What is it? Did you need me for something?”

“Oh. I was just- I…” Sana fumbled over her words, now looking down on the floor.

“Wait!” Tzuyu cried out, grabbing the older girl’s wrist, and dragging her out into the room’s balcony. “Could we talk outside? I could use some fresh air.”

The taller girl took the other girl’s silence, and not yanking her arm away, as a “yes”.

The air was relatively chilly than inside, but it also held a fresher aspect that only that time of the night could give. The two leaned on the railing, enjoying the sight of the star-filled night sky that they usually couldn’t enjoy due to hectic schedules.

“The moon is really pretty tonight.” Tzuyu commented.

Sana could only hum in agreement, eyes closed — enjoying the moment.

“Did that make your heart skip a beat? That wasn’t a confession, by the way.” The black-haired girl teased.

Letting out a soft giggle, the brunette replied. “Don’t worry, I know. It did startle me though, but then I thought, ‘There’s no way Tzuyu’s going to confess to me — that’s ridiculous!’, so I took it for what it is. I’m more surprised that you knew what that meant in Japan.”

“O-oh, yes. Momo told me about it once when she was trying to teach me Japanese.”

And then silence hung once more, now awkward rather than the calm it was moments earlier.

“Stop worrying about it. I won’t misread it, I swear. I mean, you’ve already rejected me thrice, so I figured, I had to move on, right?”

“Wha-”

“So, I did. I got over you, so you don't have to worry about me anymore. And I won’t tell. I know how much you dislike being teased about it. So, okay? We’re good.” Sana finished, smiling at Tzuyu - a sincere and content smile. She seemed to have actually moved on from her.

Tzuyu could only nod her head in response, not trusting her voice at the moment.

“Ah! Before, I forget. I’m sorry about a while ago during practice. Momo already scolded me for it, but I really am sorry. Jeongyeon was beside me so I dragged her with me, that’s all.”

“It’s alright. I wasn’t really mad.” Tzuyu responded, having the moment to recompose herself with Sana’s apology.

“Oh thank goodness! I was really worried.” Sana let out a sigh of relief. “Anyway, that was all I wanted to say. What about you?” Sana asked, looking at Tzuyu for confirmation.

“Oh, well. I didn’t really have anything to say — you were the one who came to my room, remember?”

“Ah! Tzuyu’s so mean to me!” Sana jokingly huffed. “Well, it’s starting to get cold, so I’ll just go inside now. How about you?”

“I’ll come in in a bit.”

“Well, okay then. Don’t catch a cold!” Sana warned as she headed in.

Tzuyu continued to smile at the brunette until she saw her leave her room. Moments later, Dahyun came out to get her, telling her that Sana notified her that she was in their balcony. Right after getting in, Tzuyu started crying, and failed to stop the tears from falling. She told her the whole story — Sana hinting at her feelings during their time in Sixteen, her response, the _love letter_ last year, and what she told her now.

Dahyun advised her that she should’ve still told her, arguing. “She was in love with you for four years!...well, maybe three, minus one for this year; but still! She couldn't have lost all of her feelings for you in a year, that's just…there should still be some lingering feelings in her!"

Tzuyu only hugged the other girl tighter in response.

* * *

Tzuyu woke up in the middle of the night, and remembered the events that transpired. She actually considered what Dahyun told her, but she was also just human. She wouldn't be able to take it if Sana rejected her — if she actually confessed to her. Just as much that Sana was in love with her for three — maybe four — years that she couldn't have completely moved on from her, it was also those same years that she continued to reject her. She kept on piling up reasons, and drowned herself in excuses — why did Sana have to be affectionate with everyone else, and not only her? Why didn’t Sana honestly pursue after her? Why did she have to fall in love with Sana when it seemed like Sana had fallen out of love for her?

She remembered when Sana had treated her like she was the most important person to her — and back then she knew that she _was_ — and she only dismissed her, convinced that there would always be a next year, that she would always be hers.

Tzuyu wished that she could’ve answered Sana’s winter confessions.

* * *

_[A little extra - Sana]_

“Well, okay then. Don’t catch a cold!” Sana warned as she headed inside the room, and out of it.

As soon as the door closed shut, Sana could not help but lean on it, and take a deep breath. Thinking back to what they talked about had her losing strength in her knees, and sliding down to the floor. There was a burning sensation in her eyes that made her press her palms to try and relieve them, but the tears could not be pushed back.

 _“I did it.”_ Sana thought as another sob escaped her mouth, trying as hard as she could not to.

_“I told her I’ve moved on.”_

Contrary to popular belief, Sana was not dense. She knew what the girl she loved — and still does, no matter what she told her — was trying to say. _“That wasn’t a confession, by the way.”_ As if.

Sana knew that she had hurt the youngest TWICE member. She knew that the smile on her face while dancing disappeared near the end. She knew! She couldn’t help it, her eyes naturally sought Tzuyu after all. But she couldn’t take it anymore. Years of hinting, confessing, and outright and blatant flirting with the girl had resulted in _nothing_. Yes, she would get upset, but that’s the extent of what she did. After a few minutes, that would disappear too, and they’re back to square one.

She was just so tired. Putting your heart out without an assurance that it would be taken in and protected had led the brunette very much emotionally exhausted.

It wasn’t easy for her to let her heart out. No matter what people said, despite being so open with her emotions, _nobody_ was that brave, or foolish enough, to constantly wear their hearts on their sleeves. She always had Tzuyu in mind. She knew how timid the girl was, so she figured she’d be open for the both of them. Unfortunately, it hadn’t worked out. So Sana did the next best thing for the both of them — to retract her feelings for the younger girl.

Maybe, when they were both mature enough, they’d try again. Maybe, when Tzuyu was ready, and taking Sana seriously, would they talk about it once more.

Maybe.

“Sana? What are you doing here?” Dahyun asked upon seeing the older girl, curled up on the floor in front of their room. Upon noticing that she was crying, she added. “What’s wrong?”

“I-it’s nothing. I just suddenly felt homesick, that’s all.” Sana weakly replied, rubbing the tears off her eyes.

As Sana stood up, and tried to leave for her own room — or the restroom, whichever had less people — she remembered to inform her that Tzuyu was in the balcony, and to make sure to pull her inside if she stayed out for too long.

At Dahyun’s nod, Sana turned to leave, not before once more asking about her well-being. At the insistence that she will be okay, both finally greeted each other a good night.


End file.
